Prayer in Times of Anxiety

Safed Sunset Nov 2021 ©Nachman Davies

Today, (March 4th 2025)...Google informed me that this  essay from 2021 is the  most visited article  on this entire website. So in this  time  of war and global angst I am re-posting it today. May it bring some positive comfort to all those searching online for  some  kind  of  spiritual support in these difficult times.

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How to Pray on a Grey Day

We are instructed not to daven the Amidah prayer (for instance) if we are sad or depressed[1] because a mitzvah ought to be performed in joy.  If we are honest with ourselves and with our G-d, there are also grim times when such sadness and depression can turn to anger.  At such times, we might feel that avoiding contact with G-d might be the only way we can avoid blasphemy.  Yet there is much to be said for recognising that it is  precisely at such times that we ought to be in direct, though painfully conflicted, contact with our G-d.

 The specifically Breslover form of hitbodedut .....as opposed to the  Jewish-Sufi form [2].... is principally a method of discussing ones thoughts out-loud with G-d—often  in the middle of the night, and ideally in an isolated and deserted location— and it would seem to be a method geared to effect this critical encounter.  And the discussion can involve both the joyous  and the anguished by turns.

Davening formal services with kavanah may be a difficult (or impossible) task to manage in such times of deep aridity or anguish, but solitary contemplative dialogue in private should surely flow naturally when we need to pour out our hearts and release  painful things which have  been bottled up.

Many contemplatives also turn to the Psalms at such times. They can often  become doorways to the deepest forms of ecstatic prayer. They are a comfort from a psychological point of view as well as a religious one, because we can all relate to the very human conflicts and experiences which they describe so vividly.

On those days when one feels too depressed or too sad to pray the siddur liturgy in its entirety or even to enter into the dialogue of contemplative prayer, this is my suggestion:

 

-Take just one psalm, or just one prayer (maybe just the first paragraph of the Amidah or just the first paragraph of the Shema)— more if you are able;

-Tell G-d that you are both too depressed to pray, and too stressed to sit down with Him and ‘chat’, but that you wish to worship Him and approach Him;

-Tell Him that you wish to remember His mercies with gratitude and beg Him to help you;

-Then say your chosen short prayer or selection of prayers as slowly and reverently as you possibly can.

 

Doing this has two very practical advantages:

Firstly, it actually prevents you from dwelling on your self or your own problems and digging yourself further into a hole.  It may appear to be a meagre substitute for the full statutory Avodat HaKodesh, but it’s a start. And to quote someone  far wiser than I: a bissele iz euch gut.[3]  Sometimes we all need to examine our own careers, thoughts, actions, and progress—but those who are living contemplative lifestyles need to minimalise such activity if too much self-focus begins to impede ones journey into G-d.  The balance should always be effected by looking at G-d not  at one’s own image.  When we ‘look at’ G-d, we are moved to be compassionate to all other creatures and our prayer for them spreads out ‘through G-d in us’ to the world.”

 Or to put it another way: We can pray for the needs of the Shechinah knowing that our own needs are included de facto in that prayer.

Secondly, it generates positivity by allowing us to express gratitude—the attempt to worship in the midst of pressure is surely ‘acceptable’ on high.  The main thing is to do one’s best and not fret.

I can also recommend another practice for such times of anguished lassitude, when  formal prayer is all but impossible: making use of a simple repeated mantra-like prayer.  

I often use a string of wooden worry-beads to assist me in praying in this fashion. The form of the bead-string does not matter.[4] They are simply a device to occupy the hands and regulate (or free-up) the time taken to recite this form of prayer.  I recite the entire phrase “Ribono shel Olam” [5] on each of  the small beads with a  “Baruch Shem kevod malchuto l’olam  vaed” [6] on the larger bead which marks the end  of each circuit.

(my own 42 bead 'tasbih') 

  I have found that it is possible to pray at length using this method no matter how depressed one is, even in times of personal mourning and grief.  Often I pray a ‘circuit’ for a specific intention.   There are also numerous occasions when  I have begun to pray in this mantra-like fashion and  found, to my great surprise, that it calmed me sufficiently to enable normal davening or contemplative  dialogue to follow after all.

At other times when  certain physical illnesses (such as migraine or ocular disturbances) have made reading impossible, praying  the repeated mantra using these beads has often been the only form of prayer that  I was able to manage.

In recent years I have expanded this practice by using various other repetitive mantra like phrases, often taken from the psalms but also from the siddur liturgy.  Such mantra phrases may be  chosen at random from a bible or a siddur or they may be chosen to fit the particular anxious or ‘dark’  situation the contemplative is experiencing.

Sometimes I have  used my adapted ‘tasbih’ beads to mark cycles of repetition or simply to relax the body during  the prayer exercise—usually ascribing a phrase or part of a phrase to each bead.   At other times I have preferred to attempt to connect with G-d simply through the (usually silent) repetition of such mantra-phrases without using a bead-string....often with gently rocking movements of the head or body.  Such methods are reminiscent of the Sufi practice of Dhikr, but then (following the lead of the Maimuni Jewish-Sufis) I subscribe to the view that those (ostensibly Muslim) Sufi practices are themselves based on the ‘lost’ or neglected contemplative methods of the biblical Schools of the  Prophets.

Here are some of the mantra-phrases that I have used, given here as examples for those readers  who would  like  to make use of the  Jewish-Sufi method I have described above:

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AD-NAI yimloch   l’olam va’ed

THE LORD will be King    for ever and ever

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AD-NAI Melech      AD-NAI Malach  

AD-NAI yimloch          l’olam va’ed

The L-RD  is King          THE L-RD  was King     

THE L-RD will be King          for ever and ever

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Yimloch AD-NAI l’olam          Yimloch AD-NAI l’olam

The L-RD  reigns  for ever            The L-RD  reigns  for ever

 

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(Ki l’olam chasdo)                        (Ki l’olam chasdo)

For His  love endures forever         For His  love endures forever

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(Ana Ad-nai          hoshiana)

Please G-d            save us!

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Hineini AD-NAI    Hineini AD-NAI

I am here LORD     I am Here LORD

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Daber  AD-NAI ,        ki shomea   avdecha

Speak , Lord,       Your servant is listening

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Avinu   Malkeinu            Avinu   Malkeinu

Our Father, Our King       Our Father, Our King

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Avinu   Malkeinu     Choneinu v’aneinu

Our Father, Our King      Be gracious  and  answer us

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Ein k’El-heinu    Ein k’Ad-neinu   

   Ein k’Malkeinu      Ein k’Moshienu

None (is) like our G-d,   None like our Lord, 

 None like our King,   None like our Saviour

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AD-NAI echad   u’Shmo echad

THE LORD is One and  His Name is  One

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Halelu Ad-nai     Halelu Ad-nai     Halelu Ad-nai     l’olam vaed

Praise G-d,         Praise G-d,     Praise G-d      for ever and  ever.

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Atah Kadosh           v’Shimcha Kadosh

You are  Holy         and Your Name is Holy

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Kol ha-neshama            HalleluYah

All that has breath           Praise the  L-rd.

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Hu-----  El-heinu    Hu----- Ad-neinu   

   Hu-----  Malkeinu      Hu----- Moshienu

 

They are formatted to indicate a suggested rhythm, progress through the  bead chain, or pauses for breath. Sometimes these repetitions  may be synchronised with paces in a slow walking meditation.  They may be recited in English or Hebrew, but (especially in the last example) resonant "m" sounds,strong "l" sounds, and extended aspirational sounds may make the Hebrew versions the preferred ones. 

Such a list could go on for many more pages but it is  hoped that this brief selection may be sufficient to inspire those looking  for some models on which to base their personal choices.  (The Selichot liturgy, The Hallel recited on festivals, Sefardi Bekashot, and Sefer Tehillim are perhaps  the richest mine for such models).

Their use is not simply relevant to times of stress or times when fervour is lacking, for  they may also become a part of ones  regular and continuous practice.   Intuitively, and in that situation, I feel that it is best to use the same phrase (or perhaps two phrases) over time (say a period of weeks or more) rather than take the list above as some sort of mix-and-match verbose practice.  The effectiveness of the repetition seems to be consolidated and  amplified once it has become  habitual, and it seems to me that this  takes time and concentration on one ‘mantra’ over time.

Of course it would  be possible  to perform such excercises making specific use of Divine Names and their variations, and this exalted practice  is a major feature of  pietistic devotion in Islamic Sufi, Jewish Sufi, and Classical Kabbalah meditation)  but such  practices are beyond the scope of this book.

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But if we are in the midst of a Grey (or Black) Time when our faith is tested to the very limit—all  small attempts  to make contact with G-d count far more than  we might  believe possible.  If we really are doing  all that we can in the midst of  sadness or depression, we may find  that a certain peace can be found in the attempt to make even the smallest of devotional practices our prayerful offering. For those of us living  alone in contemplative  solitude, this sets the scene  for a return to a state of quies (a settled mind) that will enable  us to go about our ordinary actions while our subconscious is dealing  with our problems in the background.  The sensation is  one  of being connected to the Divine Presence  by a delicate thread.

My guess is that when  one  is under duress, it is most often wiser to take small steps than to attempt heroic leaps of faith and perseverance.  Domestic cleaning, washing, decorating, gardening, calligraphy, handicrafts, carpentry, cooking—can all be contemplative exercises when practised in a state of acceptance that we are ‘working our problem out’ subconsciously with our mind on G-d and not on our selves.

This is a state of  devekut in which one can still be ‘at rest in G-d’ despite being in a Slough of Despond.

G-d’s activity is then ‘free’ to get to work on our innards while we are physically occupied.  The fight has become less of  a marital row or stand-off and more like a  tussle which becomes transformed into an embrace.

It is  not the kind of contemplative  activity that scales spiritual mountains with drama and flashing lights, but potentially, it can reach the same summit.

I remember being advised once that in order to scale a seemingly impossibly steep mountain path, the knack was to look at one’s feet and take just one step at a time without allowing despair to set in at the sight or thought of the arduous way ahead.   Poco a poco hace mucho as they say  in Spain.

But what does one do if ones contemplative  anxieties are so great that none of the above  suggestions offer encouragement?

Then I suggest you must arouse G-d’s mercy and beg His help by doing  something like the following:

Close your eyes

Make the slowest and most profound bow you can manage. Say just one brief  personal prayer with every ounce of your love and dedication—even if you don’t feel it emotionally.  Perhaps something  like this

“I’m running away from You Lord—

I am sorry—

I don’t want to be like this

Forgive me and help me to find You again.”

 

Or simply declare:

“May Your Name be Blessed in All the Worlds.

Please Help me.”

I can make no promises, but I suggest that you will walk in His Presence after doing this and He will come to meet you during the day in other ways—through events, or through the Torah spoken by his human messengers along the way.

If you find yourself saying “I’ll do it later”. If you find yourself thinking “I can’t concentrate nowI’ll pray properly at the weekend”— The chances are you are merely prevaricating and not living in the honesty of the present moment.  The chances are that when the weekend comes, you won’t ‘pray properly’ either.

It is better to open a channel of communication than to nurse a grievance. Better to declare that you need His help than to add insult to injury by thinking you are better off sulking  or nursing  your wounds alone.

As always, I am speaking as a fellow sufferer as well as attempting to be a sort of doctor—both to you and to myself—but my guess is that, if you open such  a channel of communication, He will be there for you that evening, or the next day. You may also find  that time will suddenly have been made for that ‘proper prayer’ you had been avoiding.

Even the briefest of genuine prayers in distress can have great potency.  Seeds planted in this way seem to sprout rapidly without us having to watch out for them.  The way of evasion just lets the seeds of new growth blow away in the wind.  And in the desert of anxiety they will  just wither, die, and be wasted.  So go easy on yourself on a grey day and  just do your best.  That may well  be a more acceptable offering Above than the ritual davening or recited prayers that you offer on sunny and sparkling days .

From a book in preparation The Mitkarevim: Jewish Contemplatives and the Return of Prophecy (2021)

 

©Nachman Davies

Safed

March 2025

 


[1] Berachot 31a and Eruvin 65a

[2] R’ Nachman of Breslov: ‘A little is  also good.’

[3]  The term hitbodedut had  a very different  meaning for the  mediaeval Egyptian Hasidim led by R.Abraham ben HaRambam. For them it was "khalwa", the  Judeo-Arabic term which denoted  a form of physical seclusion in a Sufic Manner as well as a form of  meditative contemplation.  For them,it was The  Divine  that that did  the  talking, as it  were,....not  the supplicant.  

[4] The beads I most often use myself  are a home-made  string of 42 beads, the number being a reference to the ‘Ana B’Koach’ prayer. 

[5] ‘Master of All Time and Space / Lord of All the Worlds’

[6] ‘Blessed be the Name of His Glorious Kingdom for all eternity’

 

TARIQA ELIYAHU: A Jewish-Sufi Order and its group in Safed

 Many years ago  when I was living in a Cave house in Spain as a dedicated solitary on extended retreat, it occurred to me  that my contemplative practice needed some sort of hermit community.

     In 2006, I  decided to form  an online  community of Jewish Contemplatives and  that group was the principal audience  of this “Jewish Contemplatives” website.  At the  same time, Christine  Gilbert introduced me to the  writings  of Professor Paul Fenton on  R. Abraham ben HaRambam.

   Over the  years that followed, I slowly discovered the  writings  of his Maimuni decendants and of  the  group that we now call the "Jewish-Sufis" or “The Mediaeval Egyptian Hasidim”.   I realised that the Jewish-Sufi movement that R. Abraham  led was promoting the  same  kind of solitary contemplative  practice I had been describing in my book “The  Cave  of  the  Heart/ Kuntres Maarat Ha-Lev”—a book which was written in 2005 but which was only published recently  in 2022.

  In a  nutshell—This  Mediaeval Egyptian Jewish group  believed that Khalwa/Hitbodedut was the  key to preparing Israel for  the  return of prophecy—and  the path by which a contemplative might receive the kind of inspirational gnosis that we  might call devekut  through  Gilui Eliyahu.

Professor Fenton describes Khalwa when he  writes: “the term not only designates the physical retreat and the ritual technique but also the ensuing spiritual state, a sort of "evacuation of the physical senses" or "vacuity of the mind."

It is  precisely this state that I was describing in Kuntres Maarat HaLev.

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So here we are in 2025 and once  again I am attempting to form a community of Jewish Contemplatives that responds to the call to engage in receptive contemplative prayer..... the  call I first made in  Kuntres Maarat HaLev. 

The  first stage  of that process  was to (somewhat brazenly)  found  a new Sufi Tariqa (in 2022) to promote  the renewal and  development of  the  work begun by the  Egyptian Hasidim. This group is called Tariqa Eliyahu.  The  second stage was to form a physical group in my own city of Safed.  This  experiment began in the summer of 2024.

I am writing this  post with one  very pressing aim.

There are approximately one thousand five-hundred  members who have read and  supported this Jewish Contemplatives website and  its Facebook group for  many years

I would  now like  to ask you to support our work in Tariqa Eliyahu as well, and  to do that in three ways to extend  our visibility online:

(1) by joining the Tariqa’s public group on Facebook which you can find  HERE

(2)  by checking out the Tariqa’s own website which you can find  HERE   

(3)  by remembering us  and  our mission in your prayers.


May Hashem grant success to the  work of  our hands


Nachman Davies

Safed

February 5 2025

Hanukah: Contemplative Activism

"Hanukah in my Hermitage 2014"

Each year, we read the Joseph narrative during the Hanukah season.  People often comment that the tale is not so much a story of man’s relationship with G-d as one which focuses on family relationships. It does not seem to focus on the notion of “Divine intervention” unless we choose to see it at work through the various dreams. Thanks to a brilliant commentary on Mikeitz by Nehama Leibowitz I can see that this is not really the case. She highlighted that perfectly when she pointed out the emphatic re-iteration in the following verses from Bereshit 41:

In verse 25:  “What G-d is about to do he hath declared to Pharaoh”
In verse 28:  “What G-d is about to do he hath shown to Pharaoh”
In verse 32:  “and G-d will shortly bring it to pass”.

Similarly, in the following parshah,  Vayigash  we read that, though the brothers had sold Joseph into slavery,  Joseph ascribed the real authorship of this action to G-d when he said:

“G-d has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival and to save your lives by a great deliverance.”
(Bereshit 45:4-7)

The extent to which we should rely on “G-d’s action” and the extent to which we should rely on “human action” is at the heart of the history of the festival of Hanukah too.

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TWO TREES PROVIDE THE OIL

In the festival Haftarah, the menorah vision of Zechariah (Zech.4:3) describes two trees which flank the candelabrum and which provide the oil. One is taken to be Zerubabel- a messiah figure for the secular and physical, and the other is taken to be Joshua - a messiah figure for the priestly and spiritual. They are two complementary forces seen as separate in methods of action but united in purpose.

In the written history of the festival’s origin, the tale of the Maccabees ended up in apocryphal documentation and not in the Bible. The first book of Maccabees focuses on the Rebel/Zealot movement’s victory which was attained by physical force, while the second book focuses on the ideological cause and martyrdom of the Pietist movement’s faith in the spiritual or supernatural.

Again, we see here two very distinct attitudes sharing a common purpose.


Perhaps the Haftarah’s message is not so much that action and prayer are complementary but that they both need something else, something more, in order to be “in-spired” - in order to have the “Breath” or “Spirit” of G-d in them - namely an explicit connection with G-d Himself. Taking that point of view, the text might be read as:

“Not just by the might of political action
Nor just by the power of spiritual faith
But by the spirit of G-d which joins them together
in effective and complementary balance.”

In the developing and rather confused history of the festival of Hanukah, it was not so much the Maccabees’ victory or the Pietists’ martyrdom that was placed centre-stage: The rabbis of the Talmud (Shabbat 21b) placed the miracle of the long-lasting oil in that prime position. In doing so they were choosing the “spiritual and miraculous” emphasis. I think that is also the intended meaning of the Haftarah quote. Might and Power are predictable yet fallible. Breath and Spirit, inspiration and revelation, can be wildly unpredictable, but they can sometimes act as their beacon: a ner tamid which lights the way forward. It might also be a beacon which warns of a way not to be taken—and it can, at times, be a reminder of being ever in the present in spiritual constancy.

Despite Jacob’s vow in Bereshit 28:20, I do not know to what extent I should rely on God to provide for me, I do not know to what extent we should believe that our prayers have a direct effect on the progress of the cosmos (from assisting our friend’s struggles in illness, to world politics), I do not know to what extent we should fight wars to achieve anything believed to be “good”. Despite choosing to walk a comparatively quietist path, the working out of this “Maccabean enigma” is a work still very much in progress for me, and no doubt for you too.

But I do feel that it is the specific duty of the dedicated Jewish Contemplative to be the “Joshua”, the “Pietist”, above all else and to declare explicitly that all is in the hands of heaven. It is unrealistic for anyone to think that all Jews be both Joshua and Zerubabel, some specialisation is both inevitable and beneficial.

Both trees feature in the vision that feeds the lamp.

A contemplative’s special task is to pray… and if that is done, it is my hope that “action” will be done:
by G-d as a “miracle of inspiration”;
by G-d through “human hands”;
and
by G-d through the miracles of His Providence.

As the daily Modim prayer reminds us, those miracles are not confined to the festival of Hanukah but are with us at every moment of every day.

Nachman Davies
(first published: December  22 2016 )


Elul: Ani l'Dodi v'Dodi Li

(A post shared from our sister website "Jewish Sufis")


The phrase “Ani l'Dodi v’Dodi Li” displays an acronymic reference to the Month of Elul.

   In this  month of Elul—perhaps the  most ‘Sufi’ of Jewish months because of its history as a time  of retreat and meditation — the phrase offers us a springboard for contemplative reflection, and also presents us with a  potential recitation mantra for our private dhikr.

The imaginative possibility that this biblical text from the Song of Songs might refer to the  Sufi concepts of fana and baqa  was apparent to our Jewish-Sufi forebears. Furthermore, they  chose to emphasise such a reading of its hidden meaning within their unique system of Jewish mysticism. 

R.Abraham Ibn Abi'l-Rabi (d c.1223)—also known  as Abraham He-Hasid—was the  teacher and  colleague of R. Abraham ben HaRambam (1186-1237) and he made a clear reference to these two Sufic concepts in his Commentary on Shir HaShirim

In a fragment discovered and  translated by Prof. Paul Fenton, Rabbenu Abraham He-Hasid connects  the phrase to the aspirant’s need for  a mentor and guide (Shaykh/Murshid).   The essential nature of this  system of transmission and guidance was later stressed by both R. Abraham ben Ha Rambam (in the Kifaya) and R. Obadya Maimuni (1228-1265)  in his Hawdiyya.

Most significantly, for us  here in Tariqa Eliyahu haNabi, R. Abraham He-Hasid also connects this pattern of transmission and guidance to the Bnei Neviím: the biblical “Schools of the Prophets”  that so inspired Rabbenu Abraham ben Ha Rambam and his circle.

Rabbenu Abraham He-Hasid writes:

 

“The Sage (Solomon) at times refers to this vision and communion as "bride" and at others as "love", whereas the seeker (qasid) of this "bride" and "love" is called "beloved", as it is said

 "My beloved is mine... as an apple among the trees of the orchard, so is my beloved among the young men". (Cant, ii.3)

The plural is here mentioned as an allusion to those who choose a master in their quest for the goal, these are (2 Kings vi.i and elsewhere) "the disciples of the prophets." *1

 

It was the intention of the  Mediaeval Cairene Pietists  to revive the esoteric practices of the BneiNevi’im that they considered to have been temporarily lost to Judaism— yet fortuitously preserved by the Islamic Sufis. These practices were understood to be a path that led to spiritual maturity, human perfection, and the potential attainment of prophecy. Our Tariqa Eliyahu seeks to renew this specific Jewish-Sufi Path. 

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 The Ani l'Dodi quotation appears in connection with the concepts of the fana (annihilation) that leads to baqa (intimate union with the  Divine) in the  writings of R.David ben Joshua  Maimuni (1335-c1414)

Here the  debt to Islamic Sufism is explicit— both linguistically and philosophically—and  his writings indicate precisely how enthusiastically the concepts of fana and  baqa had been adopted by the Jewish-Sufis of his era.  Following his example,we regard them with the  same enthusiasm in our own Tariqa's spiritual practice.

   In an unattributed (but possibly autographic) commentary on Shir HaShirim ( from a manuscript that is nevertheless most certainly in R. David ben Joshua’s  own handwriting) we read:

“I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine” (Cant. 6:3). We have already explained earlier (fol. 8b, Cant. 2:15) that whenever thou turnest to the love of an object and desirest all that that object desires, then it is as though [that object] had become thyself and thou hast become it, insofar as thou possessest it and thou art enslaved unto it. To be sure, thine annihilation (fana) within it is a mighty witness and indication that he belongs to thee and thou belongest to him.” *2

 

In  the Murshid, R. David ben Joshua Maimuni  writes:

“...during the final station, the soul sinks so deeply into love that it is no longer aware either of itself or of its love. Indeed, when the lover reaches the stage where he declares: ‘I am my beloved and my beloved is I’, he loses awareness of his own self due to the contemplation of the object of his love, which occupies him to such an extent that he perceives nothing except [that which he perceives] through his Beloved.”  *3

 

Paraphrasing  Mansour Al-Hallaj*4 — R. David Ben Joshua declares:

 

אנא מן אהוי ומן אהוי אנא

“I am my Beloved and my Beloved is I

...Oh Goal of my desire, in You I am freed from my Self.

You brought  me  so close to You

that it seemed as though You were I "  *5

 

©Nachman Davies

Safed

Elul 1 2023

Revised Sept 16 2024

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*1    Fenton, P“A Mystical Commentary on the Song of Songs in the Hand of David Maimonides II,” (p.49) in Esoteric and Exoteric Aspects in Judeo-Arabic Culture, ed. B. Hary and H. Ben-Shammai (Leiden: Brill, 2006)

*2   Fenton,P ibid. p 42

*3  translated from: Fenton, PDeux traités de mystique juive;Lagrasse: Éditions Verdier; 1987. (p.288-289)

*4     Mansour Al-Hallaj (c.858-922): a Persian Islamic Sufi saint and martyr who was a proponent of the concept that  annihilation of the  ego could lead to true unio mystica.  He was tortured  and  then executed  for stating this belief.

 *5    translated from  Fenton. P. Deux traites, p289