Showing posts with label bitachon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bitachon. Show all posts

Lighting a Menorah with One Jar of Oil (Dec 2012)


(Photo:The Light of Hanukah in the author's hermitage)



Hanukah is a Festival which celebrates many  miracles, but in these times of economic gloom there could hardly be a more appropriate tale than that of the jar of oil which fed the reconsecrated Temple Menorah. One remaining and fortuitously  rediscovered jar of undefiled lamp-oil sent out a Light of optimism and strength. Though it was deemed sufficient for just one day's lighting, it lasted for eight days.   As a sideline to the greater miracles of the recapture of Jerusalem and the rededication of the Temple, it proclaimed the virtue  of stretching one’s resources while waiting for new "supplies" to be created. The tale is found in the Talmud Bavli at Shabbos 21b  and reads:

On the twenty-fifth of Kislev [commence] the days of Hanukkah, which are eight on which a lamentation for the dead and fasting are forbidden. For when the Greeks entered the Temple, they defiled all the oils therein, and when the Hasmonean dynasty prevailed against and defeated them, they made search and found only one cruse of oil which lay with the seal of the High Priest, but which contained sufficient for one day's lighting only; yet a miracle was wrought therein and they lit [the lamp] therewith for eight days. The following year these [days] were appointed a Festival with [the recital of] Hallel and thanksgiving.”


It is some time since I published an essay on this website which  was either autobiographical or highly personal. This one is going to be both.   In 2009 I published an article on this website called Hanukah Gelt: Trusting in G-d.  Looking at that article now, it was strangely prophetic as it describes what one does when one is living on a shoestring and examining the  Divine messages such a situation might be revealing. Writing now, three years later, I am in just such a position — as my funds are no longer “dwindling” (as they are described in that 2009 essay) they are actually almost exhausted.  I am faced with several options: to give up my project of “living as a Dedicated Jewish Contemplative”  in order to find salaried employment; to appeal to the readership of this website to come forward with suggestions for work I might be able to do from home; or to hang on a little while longer, making my one jar of oil last as long as it can (while waiting for opportunities to develop/be found/find me.)

 I am at a personal crossroads in this—but I can tell you that I am content whichever of those options should be the will of G-d.  Although it will forever place me on the fringe of Halakhic Judaism, I still  believe that there is a place in contemporary Judaism for people like me who want to live as (pardon the expression) Contemplative Jewish monks or nuns— and so I want to give the possibility that I may be able to achieve this myself every possible chance before I give up trying!

It is with all that in mind that I am republishing an extract from that 2009 article here today in 2012. Through the mercy and grace of HaShem, I have not changed in my total trust in Divine Providence one iota—but in the spirit of Hanukah, I am taking this opportunity to repeat my “publication of the miracle” that has enabled my own limited resources to last (with a little stretching) for the last nine years of solitary contemplative living in studying the Torah of the Heart.   At the same time, I am taking a practical step in advertising a cause that (if it is for the sake of heaven) needs support if it is to continue. I am not asking for donations.  I am simply declaring my availability for appropriate paid work which I might be able to do from home.  We are required to have Trust in G-d but if I do not at least mention this situation, nobody would be aware of it and there may be those  reading who could be G-d's agents here.  All comments and suggestions are therefore most welcome via this address.

And now,  here is the meat of this month’s post.....may it enlighten your Hanukah and give you hope and comfort if you too are making ends meet in this time of austerity:

 

Hanukah Gelt: Trusting in G-d 
(from December 2009)

 A “contemplative Jew” and a “Jewish Contemplative” are not quite the same thing. I use the term “Jewish Contemplative” to  describe a lifestyle, an occupation, and maybe a vocation.  In short,  the practice of a dedicated and intentional prayerful lifestyle akin to solitary monasticism or eremitism.  This is decided rarety in Jewish history and in twenty-first century Jewish practice it is virtually non-existent.

In the past, the only Jews  to have lived this way on a (comparatively)  long term basis were certain prophets—like Elijah and Elisha and their “schools”; the monastic Essenes and Therapeutae in the Second Century; and certain mystically inclined individuals in comparitively modern times— usually from Pietist and Hassidic groups.   The more usual Jewish way to live a contemplative lifestyle has not produced many such temporary "dedicated contemplatives"; rather, it has usually been practiced by Jews engaged in   parallel and full time  lives of  gainful employment and the raising of a family. 

Since 2003 I have been living as a solitary "Dedicated Jewish Contemplative" with no outside funding. I live in an area of Spain with over 26% unemployment (and rising) and, so far, have found it impossible to obtain part-time work which would not clash with my chosen life of prayer and seclusion. 


So how have I managed it? 

Well, to put it in a nutshell- I have been living exclusively on my very modest savings and on a very large helping of bitachon- trust in Divine Providence. The former is disappearing rapidly but the latter has never failed me. 



Haftaras Shabbos Hanukah
Zechariah 4:6


I am currently in the Orthodox process of converting ki halachah, but I underwent  a conversion process under the auspices of a Reform Beit Din in 1992. Before converting to Judaism I had been a Discalced Carmelite friar. Elijah was seen as having been the Carmelite Order’s mythical founder. It has often occurred to me how remarkably unexpected it is that now, thirty years later, I should be trying to live and promote a sort of “ Jewish Carmelite” renewal. 

When I ask myself why I was not born Jewish, the only fully satisfactory answer that I can think of is that converts bring with them certain insights and skills which are intended to be used to enrich the community they join. Just as Avraham ben Maimon believed certain Sufi practices to be a memory of the original Jewish “prophetic-school” ones, I can see the reflection of the Jewish monastic tradition (Therapeutae) in both the Carthusian and the Carmelite traditions of Christian monasticism. Some days I wonder if all this is just me trying to draw a bull’s-eye around an arrow-head already shot, but most days I can see that had I not been a Carmelite I would not have had the positive experience of monasticism nor such a direct contact with a “spark” from the Elijan tradition that those years gave me. They gave me confidence through experience and not just theory: confidence in G-d’s Providence and confidence in seeing the value of a full-time life of prayer. 

It also means that I had a fortuitous exposure to Teresa of Avila (a Christian of Jewish descent) who in the sixteenth century, struggled with the same problems of funding a contemplative lifestyle as I do now. 

Once when discussing the lax spirit and lack of funds in a new convent of the Discalced Carmelite reform, someone suggested to Teresa of Avila that the nuns needed to beg more often. She replied that it was precisely because they were "out and about" in the town seeking charitable support that they were without it. She was a firm believer that if the nuns had remained in their cloister and prayed for support, it would miraculously appear. 

She did not expect it to drop from heaven unaided. She expected it to come from the purses of rich benefactors as a direct result of the nuns’ unquestioning trust in G-d. Her firm belief was definitely that “G-d would provide” a miracle of that Divine/human kind… if the nuns had their prayer lives and their reliance on G-d to the forefront. 

I am Jewish and not Christian, and so I do not go all the way along that Teresian path. By writing this at all I am, quite transparently now, advertising my funding difficulties as well as my openness to the idea of part-time employment in order to survive.  I am reminded of the Jewish joke:
Sam: Dear Lord, please help me win the lottery!
Heavenly Voice:  I will Sam, I will....but first my boy, you have to buy a ticket.
Nevertheless, on a day-to-day basis, Teresa's  somewhat quietist approach is one that I am often “accused” of taking myself. I will admit it appeals to me but then, so far, it seems to have worked. It is true that in the last year things have become decidedly tight, and like anyone I have moments when I fret about the future. But if I see my personal situation in comparison with people who are really poor- with Jacob, I can say that I certainly have “enough”.

One of the legends of Hanukah is that the last remaining cruse of oil used for the menorah burned for a “miraculous” eight days (during the re-dedication of the temple). Both Elijah and Elisha “provided oil” for the practical sustenance of their supplicants. One tale relates to oil being used for a spiritual purpose (the temple light), the others for a secular one (food and income). I live in hope that my pot of oil will last for at least “eight days” to get my personal “dedication project” off the ground.

So, I continue to take a “Teresian” approach to my current lifestyle and trust that if G-d wants me to be a “full-time dedicated contemplative”, He will provide opportunities or strategies for my survival through either inspiration or action.

If I run out of funds, that may be a way of indicating that my personal “cause” is not truly “for the sake of heaven”. I am prepared also to accept that as a possibility. Like David I can say: “If I find favour in G-d’s eyes, He will restore me and let me see His Dwelling Place - but if He says He is not pleased with me, then I am ready, may He do with me whatever He wills” (II Samuel 15:25).

Or perhaps it would indicate that my time as a Jewish Contemplative on long-term retreat was intended to be temporary all along: if so it would be following a more usual Jewish (and Sufi) pattern.

But no matter what the future may hold, the essence of the “trusting approach” is that whatever human steps we might take to “provide” for ourselves or our communities- HaShem is ultimately the only true “Provider”.

Is this the same attitude that we find in the Haftarah quotation which heads this article, do you think?

“Not by might and not by power but by my Spirit says the Lord”
(Zechariah 4:6)
Each year, we read the Joseph narrative during the Hanukah season. People often comment that the tale is not so much a story of man’s relationship with G-d as one which focuses on family relationships. It does not seem to focus on the notion of “Divine intervention” unless it is to be seen at work through the various dreams. Thanks to a brilliant commentary on Mikeitz by Nehama Leibowitz I can see that this is not really the case. She highlighted that perfectly when she pointed out the emphatic re-iteration in the following verses from Genesis 41:


In verse 25:  “What G-d is about to do he hath declared to Pharaoh”
In verse 28:  “What G-d is about to do he hath shown to Pharaoh”
In verse 32:  “and G-d will shortly bring it to pass”.

Similarly, in the next parshah, Vayigash, we read that though the brothers had sold Joseph into slavery, Joseph ascribed the real authorship of this action to G-d when he said:

“G-d has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival and to save your lives by a great deliverance.”
(Genesis 45:4-7)

The extent to which we should rely on “G-d’s action” and the extent to which we should rely on “human action” is at the heart of the history of the festival of Hanukah too.

In the festival Haftarah, the menorah vision of Zechariah (Zech.4:3) describes two trees which flank the candelabrum and which provide the oil. One is taken to be Zerubabel- a messiah figure for the secular and physical, and the other is taken to be Joshua - a messiah figure for the priestly and spiritual. They are two complementary forces seen as separate in methods of action but united in purpose.

In the written history of the festival’s origin, the tale of the Maccabees ended up in the Apocrypha and not the Bible. The first book of Maccabees focuses on the Rebel/Zealot movement’s victory which was attained by physical force, while the second book focuses on the ideological cause and martyrdom of the Pietist movement’s faith in the spiritual or supernatural. Again, we see here two very distinct attitudes sharing a common purpose.

They remind me of the way Philo described the contemporary Essenes and Therapeutae of Jewish monasticism as being the “active” and “contemplative” branches of the same Jewish movement. Two ways of expressing a dedicated communal lifestyle.

Perhaps the Haftarah’s message is not so much that action and prayer are complementary but that they both need something else, something more, in order to be “in-spired” - in order to have the “Breath” or “Spirit” of G-d in them - namely an explicit connection with G-d Himself. Taking that point of view, the text might be read as:

“Not just by the might of political action
Nor just by the power of spiritual faith
But by the spirit of G-d which joins them together
in effective and complementary balance.”

In the developing and rather confused history of the festival of Hanukah, it was not so much the Maccabees’ victory or the Pietists’ martyrdom that was placed centre-stage: The rabbis of the Talmud (Shabbat 21b) placed the miracle of the long-lasting oil in that prime position. In doing so they were choosing the “spiritual and miraculous” emphasis. I think that is also the intended meaning of the Haftarah quote. Might and Power are predictable yet fallible. Breath and Spirit, inspiration and revelation, can be wildly unpredictable, but they can sometimes act as their beacon: a ner tamid which lights the way forward. It might also be a beacon which warns of a way not to be taken—and it can, at times, be a reminder of being ever in the present in spiritual constancy.

Despite Jacob’s vow in Genesis 28:20, I do not know to what extent I should rely on G-d to provide for me, I do not know to what extent we should believe that our prayers have a direct effect on the progress of the cosmos (from assisting our friend’s struggles in illness, to world politics), I do not know to what extent we should fight wars to achieve anything believed to be “good”. Despite choosing to walk a comparatively quietist path, the working out of this “Maccabean enigma” is a work still very much in progress for me, and no doubt for you too.

But I do feel that it is the specific duty of the Dedicated Jewish Contemplative to be the “Joshua”, the “Pietist”, the “Teresian” above all else and to declare explicitly that all is in the hands of heaven. It is unrealistic for anyone to think that all Jews be both Joshua and Zerubabel, some specialisation is both inevitable and beneficial. Both trees feature in the vision that feeds the lamp.

A contemplative’s special task is to pray… and if that is done, it is my hope that “action” will be done: 
by G-d as a “miracle of inspiration”;
by G-d through “human hands”;
and
by G-d through the miracles of His Providence.

As the daily Modim prayer reminds us, those miracles are not confined to the festival of Hanukah but are with us at every moment of every day.



N R Davies
from  Dec 1 2009

The Ark of Trust and the Altar of Insight – October 2012

Parshas Lech Lecha enjoins us to “Go Forth” with Abraham in trust and faith. We should be “afraid of nothing”- but we should “fear the Lord”.

  The “fear” of the Lord is awe in His Presence not apprehension of what He might will for us, or how He might judge us. Though the latter is something we are always aware of, it should be without any terror of the God who we know loves us. 

 In Parshas Lech Lecha (at Gen 16:13), Sarah calls God “El Roi” (the God who sees) and in the associated Haftarah, we are also told that “His discernment is past searching out” (Isaiah40:28). He is able to see the future which is ultimately always hidden from us, and He is able to see our true intentions and most hidden thoughts. Our task is to try to see ourselves as He sees us and do something about it if we are missing our targets somehow. In this sense, we approach Him as “El-Roi” (the God who enables seeing) as we are often too afraid to face our own weaknesses without His help.

  One of the core messages of Parshas Lech Lecha is:

 If we do our part, God will be there for us and help us a hundredfold.

 So what exactly is “our part”?

 To answer that, I'd like to combine the image of an ark from Parshas Noach with a reference to Abraham's altar in Parshas Lech Lecha. Our small but essential “part” is that we each build an “ark” of trust and faith as our preparation for action, and an altar of prayer and contemplation to open our eyes to the Divine gift of Insight (daas). That ark of faith is bitachon: the kind of faith which is not so much a theoretical exercise concerned with theological questions— but a religious experience which is a personal and practical trust in Divine Providence (Hashgacha Pratis).

 I see this idea at work in this week’s Parshah. In that first verse from Genesis 12, we are told to pack up our things and get going. We are not told where we are going or why. But we are told that we will be shown the answer to the first question at some point. Our education in the spiritual life means that we have to relate to HaShem as willing servants and obedient children. If we sense strongly that a certain course of action is “required of us”—we are expected to trust the inspiration and hope that we are not mistaken in trying to discern the Divine Will. If,as fallible humans, we have misunderstood, we must also trust that we will be “shown” our mistake/misunderstanding, once we have taken that crucial first step forward. Both the first step and all subsequent steps are acts of trust.

 This kind of trust can remove our anxious fear. We are reminded in this parshah that it brings about a Divine blessing in itself:

 “And Abraham trusted in God, and God counted it to him for righteousness
 (Gen 15:6)

 Even if we have made a mistake and misjudged what we assume to be a Divine inspiration, He will show us our mistake at the appropriate time, and what is more—This Master and Parent helps his dependents pick up the bits and pieces after the crash. For in the Haftarah of Lech Lecha we read:

 “Fear not, for I am with you
  (Isaiah 41:10)

 We are told that God appeared to Abraham after Abraham had built an altar (Gen 12:8). This reminds us that most often God does not make His Presence felt or His Will known in our lives unless we first ask for them to be revealed. Just as we build a spiritual ark of trust in which to “travel forward” in life,so must we build the altar of our formal and informal prayers to invoke His continued guidance at each stage of the journey. This asking is not necessarily verbally and specifically expressed. By intending to dedicate the day newly begun to His service, by presenting ourselves before Him in liturgical prayer each day, by standing in His presence in contemplative attention—we are asking with our bodies, our minds, and our hearts already.

 ....................... 

 What other advice does this parshah give those like us who might need to be shown how to develop this “Trust in God” when we on a spiritual journey which has no road map—When we are not sure if we are making any progress—Not sure if we are doing something which is of any use to Him at all?

 In Genesis 17:1, we read

 “I am El Shaddai, walk before Me and be whole-hearted.

 The phrase “walk before Me” indicates “living with a purpose united to God’s will”,but I prefer to read it literally as an English phrase, “Walk in front of Me.” It is then saying: 

 “Put what you feel is My will into practice, and by doing that you will have laid a royal carpet down for Me to walk upon and enter your world as outpouring compassion.” 

 It also represents an astonishing gift of independence. In listening as Abraham did, we are hereby divinely commanded to act as pioneers in our own personal spiritual journeys—trusting in our own instinctive and informed judgment. In practice, this means attempting to “stand on our own two feet” even though we know we owe everything to The One who calls all things into existence step by step, event by event, moment by moment. Within the framework of our covenant and its mitzvos, we are emissaries of the Divine Unity through our very diversity and individuality.

 .................... 

 In Genesis 13:3, We are told that Abraham returned to BeitEl

 “where his tent had been at the beginning." 

 This reminds us that when we have erred, our first port of call should be our “station” in prayer. For Jewish contemplatives, this is our primary “place” in time and space, and for all we know it may have been assigned to us “at the beginning” of all creation.

 It also reminds us that there is no shame in re-examining our path if we should find that we have taken a wrong turning. For those who trust in God, there are no “wrong” turnings because they will have been following the perceived intentions of the Master and Father to the best of their ability, all along. If we do what we do “for the sake of heaven”, all the diversions and “wrong” turnings which we may make in that process will be revealed as having been ultimately “for the good”.



 N R Davies 
(from an unpublished article written in October 2010)

Ascending and Descending in Elul - August 2012


   I live in a street which knows the meaning of thrift. My neighbours set an excellent example of it in all their domestic and community affairs. Many of its residents remember the poverty and famine which followed on the heels of the  Spanish Civil War and they all know how to make ends meet. We have flower-pots made from empty paint cans, discarded washing machine drums, and old concrete sinks- all painted the same terracotta red in deference to Andaluz style. They are generous people who know how to produce meals from thin air and who had been re-cycling avidly for many years before that term was even coined. Recently, one of my neighbours wanted to make a hand-rail for a particularly steep staircase in her house, and she came up to me with a length of solid lead piping and two lightweight wooden curtain-rod supporters asking would I put it up for her. I refused.

   Instead I went out and bought two metal supports intended for a stair-rail and said that, although I would prefer not to do it myself (though I could) her son was welcome to use the specially long screws and rawl-plugs I had and my old electric drill. We would all start looking for an appropriately light but sturdy wooden rail forthwith.

   There were two reasons for my refusal, both of them coincidentally related to this week’s Torah parashah (Ki Seitzei) which concerns a guard rail for a roof. Firstly I was not prepared to let her use the original curtain-rod supporters and pole as they would surely come away from the wall in seconds and cause an accident. Secondly I was not prepared to take the responsibility for the installation as I did not feel qualified to guarantee its security: Even with the correct accessories and tools, I would not trust my own workmanship in the matter of someone else’s safety. Rashi’s commentary on the “parapet” text at Deuteronomy 22:8 reminds us that –as good things are the fruit of the labour of good people, and bad things are produced by the work of bad people- if one neglects to erect a safe parapet even if the person falls by accident, the owner of the property is partly to blame. (Chazal apply the parapet rule to all issues of building and safety- and so was I in this case.)

But the story I have just told you has other messages for me, and possibly for you also.

In Haftaras Ki Seitzei we read of a situation in which the Divine Voice declares:

“For a short moment I have forgotten you,
But with great compassion I will gather you up.”
Isaiah54:7

   In this haftarah, we are reminded that apparent disasters and failures may seem to be the result of our being abandoned by God, but that in fact these are often educational experiences which are sent to us in love. At the time we are experiencing them they may seem like endless torture, but in comparison to the times when we are in what one might call “good fortune”, they are, in fact merely momentary.

   Furthermore, despite what we may be feeling –we are assured that the Presence of God never actually leaves us, even in those times:

“For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed
But my kindness shall never depart from you”
Isaiah54:10

   Psalm 89 considers the same realisation  when it focuses on the anguish of King David. On the one hand David feels that he has been promised a special protective blessing from HaShem, and on the other hand he feels that HaShem has most definitely deserted him, and to all intents and purposes seems to have reneged on His promise.

   Actually, David knew  that the Divine Presence is never completely withdrawn as well as did Isaiah. If this were not so, David would not have been able to contain his rage against HaShem, nor would he have wanted to continue in HaShem’s service. But he did. More than he could ever say, despite his eloquence.

   In the early verses of Psalm 89, David recounts all the promises HaShem has made him during hisbodedus and expresses these personal blessings as a form of personal covenant:

“Forever I (HaShem) will preserve my kindness for him (David)
And my covenant will be steadfast with him.”
Psalm 89:29

By verse 39, David is accusing HaShem of having neglected to support him in his personal and national endeavours...a tirade which extends right up to verse 47 with the cry:

“How long, HaShem- will you hide yourself forever?”
Psalm 89:47


The most significant thing about the psalm - and about David- is that he does not end with rage and disappointment. He brings his rebellious nature to heel and declares in the psalm’s final verse:

“Bless HaShem forever. Amen and Amen”
Psalm 89:53

   David’s submission to God in this verse was not born of blind obedience. It was the consequence of infused wisdom (da’as) and passionate love (deveykus).  He knew in his heart that HaShem had not really abandoned Him and he accepted both the good and the bad with the equanimity of one who is seeing the whole thing in the Divine perspective.

   Despite his all-too-human rage and anguish, David is in love with HaShem. The same vision, the same wisdom, and the same love pushed Isaiah to express the same theology in the haftarah. As we read before, HaShem assures us:

“For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed
But My kindness shall never depart from you”
Isaiah54:10

In recording these emotional  responses to spiritual difficulties, David and Isaiah are giving us something which is more than a mere record of a personal journey. They are setting an example for us by declaring that faith and trust during such trials are definitely possible....and that they are part of a promise made between HaShem and His servants. A promise which involves action as well a change in mind-set, as I hope to show in the next section of this little essay.

 ___________oOo___________

 

A Parapet of Compassion

In the Torah Reading of Parashas Ki Seitzei we read:


“If you should build a house which is new,
 you shall make a parapet for your roof
 so that you will not place blood
 on your house if someone should fall.”
Deuteronomy 22:8

   
The message of  Ki Seitzei’s   “parapet law”, its “animal protection laws”, and its “worker’s rights laws” is that they are all examples of compassion in action. They are laws which are instituted in order to make Israel give examples of the way in which it hopes to imitate the compassion of God.

Let me unravel that just a little.

   We should never underestimate the power of good example.  David and Isaiah show us ways to see HaShem’s hand in seemingly dark times.   We can show others that same light in darkness—by demonstrating our own equanimity and by showing the depth of our own faith.  The Haftarah reading assured us that the compassion of HaShem will never leave us. We are not invited to wallow in the security which this promise may give us as contemplative individuals.  We are invited to put such Divine Compassion into practice ourselves.

   One of the special practices of the current month of Elul is the recitation of Psalm 27. In this psalm we declare that HaShem is “our Light and our Salvation”.  There is a way in which we ourselves can become bearers of that Light to shine it on those we meet. The light of bitachon and emunah- of trust and faith in HaShem- is not something which we store inside ourselves for our own use.   It is meant to be poured forth, shared, and spread out.  If we have  the intention of making a good example we are allowing ourselves to become useful in this process as lamplighters for the spread of that  bright  Godliness to others.

     When we say that “HaShem is our Light and Salvation” we are expressing the truth that  His Light  can  bring about not just our own  salvation, but that it can be the very saving of all those we meet and care for.  Example can speak louder than the written or the spoken word, and its lessons go very deep.   Though I did not entirely agree with him, a very dear friend once told me that he believed that (in this world) we could really only ever “meet”  HaShem  in the faces of those who represent Him truly.    He did not use the term “light of the Tzaddikim” but that’s what I heard.  Even for those of us who are merely average “benonim”, the responsibility to set a good example is always there too.  

 I picked up the same messages from the scriptural readings as I did from the "Tale of the Stair Rod" in my street. This is not surprising as This-World and the Other-World are merely facets of the same Divine reality:


   A roof with no parapet can be seen from afar. If we are not visibly concerned for the wellbeing of others (animals, employees, friends, family, neighbours)— we are not helping others to grow in faith and in reliance on HaShem.  

   We may think we are being practical or thrifty  when we stretch our natural and personal spiritual resources, but we should not think that this will be of any use in the end-for ultimately only HaShem’s own resources from His own "Treasury" can save lives and they are given as free gifts to the undeserving. The light which He gives us counts for more than our own effort could ever achieve.  Even the effort we think we are making is a gift from HaShem and not something  we can congratulate ourselves on.

    We may think we are helping others if we give them what they want, but if we really want to help, there are times when we must refuse in order to help them receive something even more valuable. This may hurt us and them, but we have God’s example in this way of teaching hard lessons with love. It is hard for us sometimes to accept such education, even at the hands of HaShem. For most of us it is even harder to practice the teaching role ourselves-either in our dealings with those around us, or in our management of our own soul’s resources.

And in times of personal darkness?

    Well, if we let “How long Oh Lord, How Long? be followed by “Blessed be HaShem for ever and ever”—Not only will we have erected a parapet to guard our souls from falling into despair— We will also have installed the safest and most effective handrail on the Ladder of Jacob that there is:  Trust in God. And we will have learnt one of the key lessons  of the contemplative life: that if we are to ascend on that ladder in  private prayer and contemplation in order to meet our God in hisbonenus, we must also return to bring the Light of Compassion into the world we had left momentarily behind. 


"And the Living-Beings (Chayos) ran and returned
Like the appearance of a flash of lightning"
Ezekiel 1:14


   For that compassion is the Light of bitachon and emunah—of  Trust and Faith—expressed and shared with all Creation.  It is the flame of the Chayos sent to  fill the apparently mundane with Godliness.








N.R.Davies
August 26 2012